Does your husband work in the construction trade? If so, how do you get YOUR "honey do list" done ?
Question:My Husband works hard everyday doing all phases of construction and even "handyman" issues for other homeowners.
So, at the end of a long day or on the weekends , as you can imagine I have a hard time asking him for ( or getting him to) my own list of issues that we need done at home.
As a result I have to live with unfinished projects ( name it we got it ;).
Now while I can empathize with him, I also feel a bit miffed when he comes home and starts telling me about his workday.
Why? Because it usually involves hearing about how ________( usually another woman) was so "happy" and impressed with his work!
I'm not the jealous type, it's not about that...but I do feel a bit sick and tired of hearing about "house beautiful" and having to deal with our own house 1/2 done.
How do you handle this with your Construction "God" hubby?
I've recently told him I was hiring another guy to get the job done and he had a hissy! What do I do?
I've even done the work myself as far as I can.
Answers:
Don't have a long list of projects for him to do and then nag him to do them. He'll look at the list, figure there's no way he can finish it, and not even try.
Try this: prioritize your list and start with an easier project that you want to get done. Ask him what it will take to get it done, and then leave a whole weekend where you don't plan anything else. Offer your help and get ready to put on your scrubby clothes. Even if you just stand there handing him tools or a beer or whatever he needs, give him your entire attention until that job is done. If you show interest in the job and show him you will help to the best of your ability, he will be very motivated. Once the job is done, let him know how much you appreciate it and reward him as you see fit (in the bedroom, let him go on a fishing trip the next weekend, or whatever). Give him a week or so before you discuss with him what project he wants to tackle next.
Break it down one project at a time, and be supportive before, during, and after the project. You will get a lot more things done.
One last thing...don't throw away your master list. Subtly keep it on the side of the refrigerator, not on the front, or somewhere else not so obvious, and check off each item as they get done. When he does eventually find the list, he will both see the progress he's made and also see that you noticed things getting done.
Honey you are handling it all wrong...this is what I do...I purchased myself the sawzall. If I want a job done I act like I am going to do it and get out the sawzall to begin with. I am sure your husband has the sawzall if he is in construction. Ask to borrow it...Right now I am thinking about sawzalling my kitchen worn out faucet.
Well, my husband works in the construction trade, also, but he works on our home after work and on the weekends. I guess it's just a difference in how badly he wants your house fixed...you husband isn't too concerned, apparently. Give him sexual favors as incentives, that should do the trick.
i do it myself. if he doesn't like it or doesn't want me to do it he will step in and do it for me.
either do it yourself (start in the evening when he gets home and wants dinner) or ask him for a BLANK CHECK to have it done to your specifications.
leave a list of people he doesn't trust in the business (contractors) to call for estimates while he's at work TODAY.
it's YOUR HOME. do what needs to be done to get it done.
im 55 years old and spent today in 80 some degree weather laying 16 in. block in a ditch...then came home and worked in the yard...now its after supper and i have to go to my side job for a while...tell him to do the work or you'll have to call grampy to come do it...
OK. I'm a bloke, so I can't realy say I've got a husband in construction, or even a husband (thank God), but I think you may be on the right track with hiring a guy in to do it. My old Mum had the right answer, don't just say you're hiring a guy out to do it, hire him out. Forget about the hissy, it's just a sign your ploy is working. He might moan and groan about being a nagged husband, but if there's one thing he won't be able to stand even more is having his building skills kicked into touch by someone else, by the way, make sure the builder is the most expensive and well-established, so he can't give the job to his mate who 'might be able to come around for a few hours on Friday afternoon'. Don't tell him about it until the job's done. He'll probably scrutinise the work with a toothcomb, but the idea that he has been made redundant in his own house will be far too much for him to bear in the long run. It worked with my Dad, who was a self-proclaimed 'master tradesman', and yet did absolutely nothing about the house...
I'll post a pic of my Mum sometime - she's 71 and still looks quite good, according to most reports
Cheers,
Liam
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