My wife comes home from a health farm today, I have broken her heirloom vase what can I do?
Question:The vase was worth nearly £10,000 as it was a 200 year old piece of porcelin. It has been in my wife's family for 150 years and cannot be replaced. I knocked it off a shelf I was dusting and it has broken into 4 pieces with a lot of little fragments.
Should I:
1. Stick what I can back together and hope that she won't notice
2. Own up and take the earache for the next 10 years
3. Tell her next doors cat got in and knocked it off
4. Pack my bags and get out whilst the going is still good
5. Invent an excuse of your own
Answers:
Own up! At least you will never have to do the dusting again! That alone is worth 10 years of earache!
go with 3!!
tell her u let the cat in cuz the neighbours never fed it and u felt sorry for it and it knocked it over!
DO NOT OWN UP!! she will never let u live!!
WOMEN!
1 & 2.
Stick it back together and appologise profusely. Also, buy her a present before she gets back and hide it until it's time to appologise (again) and make up. Whatever you do, don't get into a pointless arguement (so long as you stay on track, getting angry is OK). If it looks like she wants you to get out, do so, then wait for her to call you.
None of those. Take the revolver out of the locked basement dresser. when she comes through the door , unload the whole chamber into her freshly pampered face.
Go out and come back again and pretend it was a bungled burglary.
Stick it back together and say nothing!
Start running now I'd say!
face the music, she may moan but shell respect your honesty.
Is it insured? Tell her the truth. It's gotta be better than lying. She may give you a hard time, but it's better than lying! Ps. You could always take it to a restorers as well. It'll not be perfect, but it's something isn't it?
You can get it glued back and put it somewhere, maybe your bedroom or someplace like that where it is not obvious that its fragmanted and joined. Dont make a blunder of yourselves in front of visitors but you'll have the satisfaction of having an ancient heirloom in front of your eyes for a few more days.
Secondly and more importantly, tell your wife. Face what you have to and get on with your life.
A lot of vases that got made then broke at some time or another.
I'd say get a professional around to see if anything is possible(any antiques shop fella can help). If nothing is possible, get her an expensive present, tell her it was broken and on the floor when u got home one day, apologise when she gets home, withstand the anger phase, and then hope for the best.
1. as she walks through the door tell her? your hair looks beautiful.
2. tell her? your body looks beautiful.
this is the hard part (you may have to take one, for the cunning plan to work)
3. grab hold of her and make love to her there and then in the hallway.
4. when she is in the throws of passion guide her towards the cabinet, and knock the vase off together (wink wink nudge nudge).
5. if youve done a good enough job your mrs will be allright for at least a few days.
6. then you can take joint ownership for the breaking of the vase.
7. will make an excellant after dinner story, "the shag that cost us over ten grand"
hope that helps paulie m xx
Tell her exactly what happened. The truth will set you free.
Honesty is the best policy,Either that or lie through your teeth.Tie a bandage to your head and say you have been burgled.Tell her the police have caught him but the vase has been broken.
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