How can I make it look like crap??
Question:We are in talks with our landlady about buying the house we are renting and I have 2 valuations this week. How can I make the property look like the dump it really is? We have severe damp and dark dingy rooms etc but we have done our best to brighten the place up. How can I ensure they see the property at its worst?? I want the house to be worth as little as possible obviously..as I'm buying it.
Answers:
The truth about the house and property will come out when the inspection is done.This will more than likely come from an independent inspector. ( most banks require this )They will go over everything with a fine tooth comb.They will probably find things you are not aware of.The appearance of the inside means little.They,being the bank, want to know if it is a structurally sound home.As was stated by an other person. If they find to much the bank wont lend the money.
Buying a home is a big step.Good luck and congratulations.
Be careful that valuation might also adversly affect how much money you can borrow to purchace.
Present it as is. Structure is the important thing
put wet towels, and it will smell damp
stash some rotten prawns in the house but make sure u remember where u put them !! tell them that it always smells like that for some reason.
Hahaha!
How about tearing up small pieces of the wallpaper where damp is present? This emphasises the problem (and makes it look even worse).
And you could make the bathroom look really crap, to make it look like the plumbing is really bad ;)
Have fun wrecking your house!!
Its not just the overall look that the surveyours will be looking at. They will be looking at the structure of the property aswell and the room size, whether its got an upstairs bathroom, kitchen size, how many bedrooms its got, the garden size etc. I dont really think you will have to do anything at all. Alson the area that you live in will count for a lot when it comes to price and you cant just pick it up and move it to a worse place! Good luck.
Put plastic pink flamingos out front, buy one of those cow mailboxes, put a Christmas wreath on the front door, paint the front door purple, bring your patio furniture inside, hang a bunch of wires from the ceiling, put duct tape on random places (such as the refrigerator, toilet, etc), leave twinkies out front in a bucket with a sign reading "take one" and another bucket offering free condoms, leave toilet paper out, pin your necklaces to your bathroom walls, etc..
WHY do you want to buy it if it is in such a state
If you don't like the house why are you buying it.
Do not care for the lawn and hedge etc!
as for rooms use dark curtins and dark items use smaller wattage light bulbs!
Remember - if you have anything important (cracked wall, leaky roof, etc)that needs to be fixed that you aren't willing to do yourself - you MAY be able to have this fixed by the current owner before the sale goes through. This doesn't apply to improvements, just needed repairs.
Be careful what you do, if you portray the property as damp etc your mortgage lender may hold back a percentage of your loan until you get all the work fixed that was bad in the first place ie: dampness, roof probs etc. The surveyor will only want to know that the property is structurally sound and will be able to tell if the property is genuinely damp. If you want a proper survey (full structural) it will cost you a few thousand and that will show up all it's bad points but if you are only going on the mortgage valuation which is a few hundred quid then you are wasting your time, as they only want to know that it will not fall down, they go on the price of the building plot too so unless there is also the risk of flooding/mining you are wasting your time. If the place IS so crap why do you want to buy it? If you are not careful it could backfire on you. Estate agents go on an average of what other properties make in your location and the difference between a pristine property and one that needs work doing to it is not that much,it's bricks and mortar they go on and not fixtures and fittings. They act in the same way as a surveyor. thats how I understand it anyway.
If it is such a dump why do you want to buy it.
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