How can I trim or remove, a large 2m palm tree that has long hard spikes on it?

Question:I have been told the spikes are highly poisonous.

Answers:
After it gets real dark, wrap a chain around the tree trunk, and the other end of the chain on your neighbors rear bumper, then call them on the phone and tell them somebody almost broke into their car. Tell him that if he hurries, he can still catch the guy as he's still close by. When he jumps in his car for the chase, stay back, if you did everything right, your tree will be out real quick. If you did it wrong, and the bumper gets yanked off, RUN like mad and don't look back. (You may want to make sure you remove your fingerprints off his bumper before you call him.)