How to get rid of garden gnomes??
Question:Help! My garden is infested with these darn gnomes. I've tried weeding them out, pesticides, and having my dog pee on them. Nothing stops them. Any ideas how to get rid of them? Please help before they multiply even more!!
Answers:
Hire a gang of pink flamingos to do a drive-by shooting.
Tie them to a ballon like the one on tv.
Smash them with sledgehammers, they ll think twice before hanging out un your garden again.
Try mating with them, then smash them over over the head with a bag of apples
Pull the 12 gauge out and tell them if they ever surface again you'll blast them away.
You have to sprinkle fairy dust on them! Silly
Theres nothing you can do. However, sometimes garden gnomes spawn a mutant kind of gnome known as "the underpants gnomes". You will know if this happens because instead of having red hats, they will have green hats. If you see this, make sure your doors and windows are locked every night at 3 A.M. or they will invade your house and steal every pair of underpants they can find...
I can tell you of my own solution.. I sent them on a vacation, and moved before they returned.
According to Paracelsus, Gnomes have the ability to pass through the earth as if it were water. maybe you should bury them.
The only way to effectively eradicate your lawn of gnomes is this: you MUST, at high noon, dance naked around your yard with a necklace of garlic and a top hat!
donate them to a nursing home garden
in china theres a big moutain, on top of this mountain is a monk by the name of no-mo-nome. ask him for the secret password, and on your way back buy a fish.. and throw it in the air and see if it dies when it hits the ground.. then go watch the show 'scrubs' then come out with a hammer and show the gnomes whos boss
1] pick them up by the hair on their head
2] twirl them around until they're dizzy
3] throw them over the garden fence - they will be too dizzy to find their way home!
If they're "Gardner" gnomes, let 'em multiply, and make sure they're not harvesting your herb before it buds...
If they're like nasty "Gremlin" gnomes, repeat this chant standing naked in your garden during a full moon...
"Oh, evil little gnomes scuttling by my toes...
Be gone, forthwith, and leave my herb alone
I cast you out of this garden of delight
Sending you to hell in the waning moonlight...!"
Works everytime...
you must convince them your neighbors garden is 20 times better then once they leave install an electrified fence and an gnome intrusion alarm
They can definitely be a problem.
If they are multiplying it may be that someone cut a few in half.
Here are some tricks that work in the NorthEast:
1. Sing mocking songs to them at midnight.
2.Hide all the alcohol
3. Get rid of any mushrooms.
4.If you catch any sleeping, don't touch them! Just spray paint their bottom with baboon blue paint.
5. If you find any of their trails, drop a few mothballs around.
6. Leave really bad tobacco out near the pipe smokers.
7. post signs "No Gnomes,Go Home. I mean it!"
8. For the really big ones you'll need the fishing net and a cooler.
9. Try to locate their outhouse and burn it.
10. They really hate the smell of artichokes, so I sprinkle
pieces of that around.
good luck
ive heard that they despise lawn mowers, so you could park that out by the garden or you could call harry and ron and they will go to kicking them over the hedge, dont forget to call hermiony she will know a spell to get rid of them all for good.
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