How can I be safe working under the crawl space under a house?
Question:My parents have a lake house that has been empty for a long time. Some pipes need to be fixed under the house. I'm concerned about going under because several of the foundation vents are missing and it would be easy for animals to have moved in under the house. I would hate to be crawling around and meet a snake or a nest of poisonus spiders or rats or a possium. What can I do to be safe under the house?
Answers:
You could bug-bomb it the day before you want to go in. That will take care of the spider problem and should drive the larger animals out. Other than that...shine a light all around in the crawl-space and look for feral eyes.
Send a friend under to do the job. If he doesn't come back send another and another and another.
You could pull a volunteer screaming and yelling from the bushes. Or you could put on some good coveralls, cover your head and wear gloves and a good light, bomb prior to entering to kill spiders, as for snakes they probably aren't under there, you could run into rats or mice. Hang in and you won't know till you start.
You could petition the government to provide body armor but they seem to have a problem getting body armor to our troops in hot zones so that might not work...
You could coat your body with a super-offensive repelllant such as Eau de Politician but then your neighborhood might reek for months....
You could hire a below-minimum-wage, Mexican Guest Worker to do it, but one of your neighbors may be a super patriotic Minutemen who will shoot both you and the Mexican...
Eureka. Hire the Minuteman to spray your crawl space with armor-piercing AK-47 rounds prior to entry. Evacuate the lake house prior to application.....
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