How can I convince my parents to let me redecorate my room?
Question:It's been how it is for far too long. I really need a change!!
Answers:
I'm 15, and I had the same problem with my parents a few months ago. My room used to be this plain lavender and a bright pink, and my style changed in the 6 years between when I had it done and last year, very drastically. Posters didn't cover up enough and I was wasting money trying to change everything to cover it up when I could've fixed it completely by painting and redoing it all for real.
I proposed the idea to my parents, who, of course, said no, and instead of being a pain, I automatically went online and satrted researching. I picked everything I wanted. I printed pictures of the things I wanted to buy on my pc, wrote prices, pasted and taped the pics to a black board I had stored in my room and pieces of fabric I was going to use to create my own pillows and blankets and such, and day by day, I added more to it, watching my ideas of a room become created on my little board.
Eventually, my price list came to an end, I found all my furniture, and the entire 3 months I'd spent researching and saving up money, I'd been dropping hints of wanting a new room, I'd been doing better in school, I'd been helping more in the house, generally being a better person, and finally my parents noticed the board. They asked me about it and I sat them down and asked them seriously to just listen to me and not to talk until I was COMPLETELY done explaining. I said to them, "Look at it this way. I'm 15 now. I'm going to graduate in 2 years, but in September, I'll be 16, old enough to get a job. If you let me redo my room, I'll pay for it all, and it will be an experience that will teach me discipline. I've already gone ahead and conducted a list of the cheapest but more reliable pieces that I want for my room, and I know how much of a mess my room is right now. I'll clean it every week and I'll keep it clean, and for every day I don't, you can take away something important to me, whether it be privileges to be with friends, on the computer, or to get money to go out, that'll be up to the two of you. But I really believe that I'm old enough to make this decision on my own. I've had plenty of time to think about this and you can't deny the changes in me you've seen. It's time I changed my surroundings to fit the new me, and I believe that I'm becoming more mature by taking the responsibility to pay for it. I would be grateful if you would respect this choice and grant my wish to redo my room, and it would mean a lot to me as a growing teen to be allowed to make these kinds of choices on my own. Now, what are your concerns after you've heard what I've had to say?"
After I said that, they wanted to make sure I had the money, which I didn't at the time. I had to wait until the end of the school year when my internship paid me to pay them, but I bought everything then, anyways. As long as you act like an adult, they'll take you seriously, but make sure you DON'T whine, and CONSTANTLY act mature around them. When you bring up the topic, act the same. Reassure them a lot, too. That makes them feel good, and you also don't have to pay for everything. I just offered to since I knew it made me look better in my father's eyes and mother's eyes, one, and two, I'm the type of person who really wants to be able to get the "strive on your own" thing down before I graduate. I hope this helped. I wish you the very best luck!
And remember, maturity goes the furthest than any other option in the world in the eyes of a parent.
i went through the same thing and im getting it done this summer. i have been asking my parents for ever and they always said no. then i started saying well what if i cn keep my room looking in pretty good shape for a certain amount of time ( 4 months ??) and then i put the collage part in the argument also. i said well i should do it now b/c if i do it any later whats the point becuase i will be going off to collage in 2 years.
My daughter is five and I let her pick the main color of the room. My sister's daughter just turned 12 and she is just now getting to have a say. Do your parents think that money is a problem? Do you have a plan? Check out books and do some research online. Go to them with a plan and price quotes.
start with one thing at a time and then maybe they'll want you to match the little things as well
Show them the idea of what you want, and how much. Specially you will do it yourself. maybe they do not know what you are trying to do exactly
It depends on why your parents aren't letting you so far. Are they concerned about expense? If so, see how much you could do yourself or find friends with some expertise to defray expenses. Do you work? Can you offer to pay for some materials? Is it because your parents are afraid you'll paint the room entirely black or something weird like that which parents don't like? Give them a clue as to what you want. Is the problem that your room is not age-appropriate? or is it a storage issue which prevents the room from being tidy? You have to find some positives for them. What will they get out of this re-decorating thing? Will it result in a cleaner room, a more co-operative you, a more polished look that reflects well on the owners etc. Think like an ad-man. Sell the idea. If your parents are into image, that's the way to go. Talk about how hip they will seem after your room is done. If they're into clean, promise (and deliver) tidiness. You know their soft spots, so work on that. Whatever you do, don't whine. Parents, being people with all the usual faults, can be convinced if you are positive, prepared and put your money or effort where your mouth is. If they see that you will work, contribute, organize, whatever and this won't be a big problem for them, then they will probably soften in time. So like the last person said, get a plan. Make some sketches, get some pictures or paint samples, whatever, so they can get a real idea of where you're headed. I know when I was young I wanted some colour in my room and my parents were the beige type. So we compromised this way. I got to pick a colour for the two walls you couldn't see from the hall (ie. the public view) and they got white for the other two. Which was more than I had expected from my colour-terrified folks. Good luck. I know how important having your space feel like yours is. Hopefully, your parents will be reasonable if you are.
Just so you know...
... some parents will allow weird stuff like black walls... ME!
I don't have to live in their rooms other than wandering in once in awhile, but in the end, I want my kids to be comfortable in their rooms. So what if it's hard to cover black paint? It's just paint after all, not an expensive re-do! As long as they're keeping the rooms clean-ish, and not bringing unwanted pests (or drugs or secrets, etc.) into the rooms, it's fine with me. I believe we all have to live somewhere, so why not make it comfortable to the ones living in it? I like having my room/house in my own tastes, colors, etc. because it's where I live and where I call home. Why would I not give that right to my own children? Because I pay for part of it? Paint and a small decorating budget is a cheap way to having a happy, comfortable kid that will come home because home actually feels like home.
Teens - when you're older and have families of your own, please keep in mind, that "This, too, shall pass." Dyed hair will change to the color you were God-given (and then dyed again when the grey hair cometh), the clothes style will go out of style (and come back to bite you in the behind in about 20 years), but if your kids aren't allowed to make some choices and be who they are, you could end up with a cookie-cutter kid that holds resentment.
Parents - give your kids a break and trust them to be what and who you've raised them to be!
(Off the soapbox now...)
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