What's the best way to merge my boyfriend's decorating "style" (or lack thereof) with my own?
Question:My boyfriend is suffering from bachelor syndrome. Everything in his apartment is black, metal, white, plain and boring. He's scared of the idea of introducing color into the place. I'm scared of the idea of living in an all black & white home--it feels too much like a museum!
We're moving in together next month; what's the best way to compromise on the color scheme and decorating? The last thing I want is to be overbearing, but I'd like to introduce some color somewhere so I don't feel like I'm living in a bachelor pad/college dorm.
Answers:
If he's afraid of color, introduce it in small doses... don't start by painting the walls. Add color with rugs, pillows, curtains, bedspreads, vases, etc. He'll slowly warm up to color.
When he does, paint one wall per room a color. Don't do all the walls... it just may freak him out... when he gets used to the one wall, add more and more color.
And you may want to tell him that to have complete harmony in any room, there MUST be 3 colors: 1 dominant (the walls) 1 medium (the trim, molding, furniture) and 1 accent (decorative items such as curtains, cushions, etc). White is not a color but the absence of color. That is why white matches anything. Black is not a color but the mixture of all colors and that is why it matches all. Black is needed in every room to ground all colors together.
Consider using the same color theme all around the place, in each room. He'll get used to it quicker and easier. With his black white and silver theme, here are some suggestions that will help him adjust easily:
turquoise
all shades of brown
light green (more pickle)
cranberry red (NOT fire engine)
soft baby blue
taupe (more gray than beige)
charcoal
I suggest you stay away from any yellow and pink...
Good luck on your new relationship!
Start with earth tones... dark browns, etc... gradually add in the tans, and creams..find out why he prefers the black/chrome style...easier to keep clean?
Compromise begins with talking..:) Or you could slip a little bit of color into a patch, and slowly introduce masculine tones that aren't so stark...
Go shopping together and pick out a large colorful artwork for the main wall, a large travel print may be nice. Then each of you pick a color out of the artwork and get pillows and a throw rug. You could also get some pottery things in the same colors and it would all go together because of the artwork! Add more of the colors from the artwork by using candles. Have fun and good luck to you!
Don't waste your time or money trying to improve his space.
If this man honors you he will simply capitulate and trust your good taste knowing that he has none at heart, and, if you do, everyone will be happy. It's true, decorating is much deeper than taste, it's control in a relationship. So are you always going to be so overlooked and timid?
If this is a live in boyfriend there will be others situations and you are wasting your money on someone else's apartment and will live in an endless cycle of starting over to please someone else's taste and needs never amassing your own world of worldly possessions for your own santuary.
Hey, how about if he moves into your apartment and worries about how to introduce something masculine into your floral apartment. It will never happen!
I would do this, nothing. I would take the stand that you have all this wonderful taste but if you are to use your time and effort, he can at least pay for it all, afterall, live in boyfriends are getting everything else for free, don't sell yourself short and then just do what makes you happy. If after this he is not happy then move out, life is short.
The best way is to take hie shopping, find out what colors and patterns he likes and go from there. Sounds like he is still trying to hold onto his bachelorhood somewhat. Give him a little more time to get use to the idea of sharing the home. Try some different ideas give hime choices too but not too many or he will go insane. Have Fun!
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