How do I get an 18 and 21 year old to do house chores?
Question:I have 18 and 21 year old daughters to do chores, the younger one is a student with a cellphone, hi-fi, and goes out almost 3 times a week at night.
The older one has a cellphone but shes in buissness and also goes out almost 3 times a week at night.
What can I do to make them do chores, they dont get allowance and all they have to do between the 2 of them is clean the lounge, passage and 1 bathroom, they also have to wash dishes twice a week each and thats it, they dont even wash the bath when they are finished. My 14 year old son does twice as much and still has time to do homework etc.
So please help me because it is only a 100 square meter house.!
Answers:
They are adults. Tell them this is how it is..."here are a list of the jobs I expect you to do, if you don't do them or don't like it then find your own home, otherwise...GET BUSY".
tell them they can do chores in their own house if they dont wanna do chores in yours.you have to pay for all the luxuries they can at the least clean a little bit, or they can start paying their little brother to do it since he probably has much less of a life than them and may not mind doing it for some cash(as long as they earned it in the first place and dont just make you pay him)
tell them that they can either do the chores you set for them or they can both pay rent. i mean they are 18 and 21 and living with you? im supprised they dont pay already
Lets see,im 20 and i get mad when my mom asks me to do chores! mostly the reasons i refuse is that im angry if i have to do more than my other siblings..or im mad she really does pay way way more attention to my older siblings than she should me.
Honestly,i guess some good disciplining would work. maybe...not buying the extra items they want...(stuff they really could live without for a while) no tv for them,you can think of something.
18 and 21? If they are not in school, tell them that they need to get jobs, and move out in a month. They are adults now, so treat them like adults. If you are supporting them because they are still in school (college), then if they don't do the dishes, put the Dirty dishes on their Bed. If they make a mess, put the mess on their bed. They can only go to sleep if they clean it up. It's your home, once they pass the 18 mark, you are techinically not responsible for them. But being a parent, you still feel the responsibility... It's only natural... But it sounds like they need a rude awakening.
I am 22 years old and I just moved back into my parents' house temporarily. A couple of my roommates skipped out on me; long story short: I had to find a place to move fast.
My parents are allowing me to stay with them with the assumption that I will be moving out soon. Naturally, I am expected to clean up after myself and do little chores here and there.
Here's what you tell your daugthers: "My house, my rules. You can abide by my rules or you can get out of my house." Then proceed to tell them what chores you expect to be completed and when/how often you expect them done.
I don't think your daughters realize how easy they have it. Remind them that they are adults and you are doing them a HUGE favor by allowing them to live under your roof.
You might have better luck with world peace, or curing the common cold.
Allowance or some form of reward may be the key - as it is now, what difference does it make (to them, remember the teenage/young adult mind) if they do their chores or not? They do the chores, you give them nothing (in their minds). They don't do the chores, you give them nothing. What's the difference (in their minds)?
Or are you willing to tell them to do the chores or ship out?
gee how about makin em pay rent then hire a maid 21 yr old needs to be out on her own , cut the apron strings mom they both r adults now
Make them live on their own. They will soon learn what the real world is like. Good luck!
I think it is a little ate to start now. With your next child, start when they are 1 1/2 year old.
Your feeding them and providing them with a home. The least they can do is help out around the house. Take away the phones, hi-fi, computers whatever else and don't cook for them or nothing. Make them see how good they are getting. Suggest them paying rent if they can't help out.
I would suggest the same way you get any "child" to follow the rules.figure out what their currency is and use it!!.ie...don't pay for the cell phone bill (if you do now) unless they help or take away something they value or simply stop doing things for them that they take for granted...laundry maybe...find the thing that has the most value to them and it won't take long before they get it! Good Luck!
And exactly why are you coddling such 'mature young adults'?
They are old enough to be told that if they don't contribute to the household, out with them. Why try to parent now, when you should have been teaching them the skills to respect you and society from the beginning?
It is time for them to leave the nest. I have a daughter like that who used to live in my home.I started addressing this problem by throwing her things away that she would not clean up. even valuable things! I made her buy her own disposable dishes. I made it so it was no longer her house with a maid,gardener, banker etc. I took back my house! I didn't care how mad she got i stuck to it and she got tired of digging thru the trash to get her things back. I got really good at this . I would time it so i would throw away her clothes,shoes ,books, cd and stuff like that when i had something like grease or leftovers from the fridge to throw on them. I made it so it would be better for her to clean up her mess before i made a bigger mess for her to clean. She got the picture pretty quick and started picking up her things right away before i did.
uh, tell them to move out or else. they are adults and should be taking responsibility. especially if they are living at home rent free they need to do something to keep living at home for free. tell to start helping out or you will charge them rent. when i was their ages and living at home i had to pay rent and help out. they are old enough to know better and do not give in to them. that will not be teaching them anything. and at 18 and 21 they should have their own jobs and not be getting allowance.
Oh this one is an easy fix.
The reason they don't do anything around the house is because you allow them to not do anything. You wont put your foot down and make them so why would they? You need to lay the rules down and be willing to back them up instead of whining. If they don't do what you ask, take the cell phones away. Ground them from going out. If they continue to run over you then kick them out of the house. This will not make you a bad parent, letting them run over you will. Your job as a parent is to ready your children to survive in the real world, that what choices they make there will be consequences.You have to grow a backbone and stick to what you say or else. If you don't there is only you to blame...sorry to be so brutally honest but its the truth. Kids wont do anything unless you make them. If they don't have discipline they don't have structure. Hope this helps
threaten them with something they like to do, like going out on friday nights
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