Samuel asked me to clean out the hoover yesterday, but i had an accident..?
Question:It blew the dust back out all over the place and he went mad and started shouting. I tried to clear my mind, but all i could think of was Jimmy Cricket in his wellingtons. The guy upstairs became hysterical as the blackbird that i feed won't stop squeaking outside the window and it was getting late. He got stuck in the bath the other night and i had to go up and help him out. I thought he'd appreciate me doing that, but now he's gone wild. I tried oven gloves with a paisley pattern, william of orange underpants, pin the tail on the donkey, and even pie skitters but nothing seems to work. Now my feet are cold and i'm worried incase i have anthrax. The hoover is lying in bits in the hallway, and after last night's fiasco, will things ever end i wonder? Big Wolfgang went to the dry cleaners last week and still hasn't returned with my "smalls". My question is as follows (asked in the style of Maurice Chevalier) - When do you know that your gas fire has seen better days? Thanks x
Answers:
hmm. i see your dilemma. firstly i suggest you ingest some smoked patrick with unfuzzed battery milk. that will calm your overactive windfall jupiter. then you need to go into the missourri banana holding cell and await on the gentleman with scientific mercinary fivers to tell you that the coast is wet and to pack all your stuff in a pink felt tip pen. wait for 2 hrs then bake in a medium hot roasting step until booklike and opal.
i hope you find this usefull, as when i was in the same situation i tried it and now everything is cool. x x
what the blazes are you on about woman ,your mad as a hatter.x
Why would you think you have anthrax? To my knowledge, cold feet isn't a symptom of anthrax, rather a side effect to an impending marriage.
Your really lucky that the bloke upstairs doesn't try and get you for sexual harassment. Call out animal welfare for the bird, and as a gesture of good will, just replace your mates hoover. Pledge fluffy dusters work a treat to clean up the dust as well.
And FYI, if Big Wolfgang hasn't come back yet, did it ever occur to you to contact the police, he might have been abducted, and thanks to your delay in calling in the police, it might just be too late.
As for the gas fire, when in doubt, get a new one, gas isn't something you want to mess around with. Have I missed anything? No, well I hope that solves your quandary then.
I don't know what your drinking.but I'd like a nice tall glass of it. lol
i think a roof somewhere is a tile short, a picnic is short of a sandwich, and a village somewhere is missing its idiot. Jesus christ you are clearly a fricken fruitcake.
I think that the fumes from your gas fire are making you talk like this and really all you want is sex [told in the voice of joe pasquale]
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