My girlfriend has a major cleaning OCD and it drives me mental ! help...please..!!?
Question:Me and my girlfriend have been together for 14years, we met at school, and now have 3 children all under 8. We are both 29. And we have lived together for 9 years. In that time we have had 26 vacuum cleaners because of the over usage, and im not talking cheap ones, dysons, dirt devils etc... I cant even put a cup of tea down as she empties it and washes the cup. Everything has to be perfect, the curtains, the placemats on the table, the coasters, the beds are imaculate and not to be touched all day, the kids toys are permanantly cleaned up ! Its great having a clean house but this is crazy. I help out lots but its never to the high standard so she does it again !!
I wish we spent more time with the kids or just relaxing, but she is non stop, hyperactive hooverthon... what can i do ? please help ?
Answers:
Ha Ha, hyperactive hooverthon! I like that one...
I hate to break it to ya but your gonna have to live with it. I'm the same way and I agree that it can be annoying on BOTH ends!
My husband drives me crazy leaving a trail behind him sometimes (I say sometimes cause I can tell exactly where he's been on occasion and I think, wait I KNOW, he does it on purpose!) I get so frustrated picking up, wiping up, and straightening after everyone including the dog that I don't have any time to relax.
It takes a man with a very good sense of humor (which i think you have) to put up with a compulsive cleaner. But look on the bright side, your house is clean, you don't have any reason to be embarassed when company shows up, and it's HEALTHY. Just try to be supportive and help out as much as you can.
Show your appreciation by taking her to a spa for a massage or get her nails done. Something as simple as a bouquet of flowers on occasion help me to relax a bit and concentrate on my man for awile (until cheerios are spilled on the floor by the little one!). Run a warm bubble bath for her and demand she relax for awile. Once she gets a little bit of "her time" she should be more reasonable.
You didn't mention if she worked or not. I know I was WAY worse when I wasn't working. Being in the house all the time made it way to easy to "obsess" about the house being perfect. If she doesn't work try to get an outside hobby you can do together as a family..rec center or something. Give her something else to look forward to.
Hope I've helped!
welll it depends on wether your gf knows she has a problem, if she does then hopefully she will go for therapy or relaxation, if not then it is going to be very difficult to persuade her, try printing some literature off the internet about ocd and see if she recognizes herself in it and then she may get help,
She needs to get help to manage her compulsion or it's gonna KILL her (if you don't do it first). OCD can drive the entire household mad and it's bad for your relationships. How can kids just be kids in that environment?! Ask your family doctor for a referral and he can get you both some help with it. If she can manage it better she'll still have a clean house but won't drive you to distraction. Good luck!
There really is only two possibilities to this problem either she seeks help to tone down her OCD, or you come to terms with it and live the way of the compulsive cleaner. Speak to her and tell her how it affects you and the kids. If she understands urge her to seek help from a health professional. If she doesn't see it as a problem then I am afraid you will have to put up with it.
Good luck.
tell her she has a problem and ask her what she intends to do about it.
please can she come round for tea one day?
That does sound like a serious OCD to me. I can't believe she's used 26 vaccuum cleaners in 9 years!! I'm on my second in about 20 years. Ok, so I'm probably the opposite to your g/f but 26 is rediculous! Sounds like the kids aren't allowed to play either. However did she cope when they were tiny? Kids come with mess by the ton.
May I suggest you talk to her about seeing the doctor about it? You can get pills for OCD. I've been on them for 7 years to controll a different form of OCD.
If it's starting to bug you now then you really need to do something about it before the bugging turns into major relationship problems. Good luck.
hire her out you could make a fortune!! only kidding, if she can admit she has a problem you need to approach her GP to see about counselling. if she wont admit it you have to tell her how crazy it drives you and that she may drive you away altogether if she doesn't get help. i know how u feel me and my husband are the same but not so bad. that grass is never cut to his standards if i do it so he does it again. sometimes its the same with the cleaning and he drives me mad too.
When you leave the house and go for a drive, about 30 minutes in say to her 'I saw a coffee stain on the table that you missed'
haha..it will drive her nuts!
I clean houses and offices and by the time I get to mine I do not feel like doing my own. Talk to her see if you can get her to just clean the house once a week. It can wait. Keeping the dishes up everyday is must. If you can help her just keep things picked up that's a plus too. I had a mother like her I could never do it right. I do understand. I like to clean but I do like spending time with the family.
Good Luck.
you both need help. can you take her out? away from the house? show her there is a life for her? something has to be done. my neighbour has done it all her life. shes 70 now and knows nothing except cleaning. she dusts the garden wall.she sweeps the lawn. she polishes the greenhouse and she is sooo so tired. you gf will be the same. you must get it sorted. take her to a doctor. good luck
WOW. I am at the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to cleaning. I totally suck at it. I don't have that innate sense of order and cleanliness. I wish I had OCD (obsessive CLEANING disorder). I see how this can bother you. And I am sure your wife sees it as well.
Although I am not the most tidy person on earth, I am a perfectionist. My husband likes to half do thing and call them done and I go behind him and redo them to my standards. I do not do this to belittle him. I love my husband and see that this hurts him so I work on correcting it.
Does your wife knows that this bothers you. There was a lady like that on "The Nanny". Although her house was spotless, her children were unruly. She spent so much time cleaning she had no time for much else. I hope that your wife gets the help that she needs.
Why is the focus on you? The major concern is the kids. I think you need to do something YESTERDAY. This is very harmful to the children and their future. Maybe you should consider moving out, with the understanding that it isn't permanent, just until she gets help. I don't want to be the bearer of bad tidings, but OCD is very difficulet to treat, even when the person wants help. Please, consider the kids.
Pity to waste all that energy - send her round to mine - I've got some paintwork she can wash down.
OCD is a serious anxiety disorder.I'm not sure your girlfriend actually has this, but she is certainly bordering on it and it is definitely affecting yours and your childrens' lives.You must try to make her see this, but not by moaning or nagging. Sit her down and talk to her calmly about it. I f she is in denial and insists she is behaving normally, that's a difficult one..there is no magic cure for OCD but it can be managed successfully with a combination of drugs and cognitive behavioural therapy.(Challenging the ideas, leaving the place messy and facing the anxiety this causes until it subsides.) Good luck.
You may not want her cured if she is the same in bed.
You need to talk to your girlfriend and see if she will see some one about the problem. If you can't get her to see some one then I think you should go talk to some one who could help.
well 1st send her to my house cus its a mess , then 2nd get the to see a counseller to see why she has this problem and , try and help her to gradually scale it down
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