I would appreciate if anyone could give me some advice about housekeeping.?
Question:I have 4 kids, i work 40 hours a week. I have one day off a week (Friday) and i feel that when i go back in on a Saturday to work i am still exhausted. I have so much washing and ironing cos i do my husbands family too and want to know how i can keep up to date with it all. I want to get up in the morning and see no dishes and mess around, but at the moment thats all i see, and i cant seem to get on top of it. I l;ive in a hot country and need an hours sleep in the afternoon, but i just want someone to give me some tips on getting on top again. I will be so happy to have good advice on this. from a 42 years old mum
Answers:
do dishes right when you are done eating... the foods not dried on or stuck to the plates... let them dry in the strainer... saves time drying them and is better too... no germs from the dishtowel spreading all over the clean dishes...
put a load of laundry in before you go to work then throw them in the dryer when you get home... while you are taking a shower or making a meal they will be drying then just need to spend 5 mins putting them away...
assign each kid a room to keep picked up and tidy...
everyone needs to pick up after them selves and make sure their assigned room is picked up as well ...
go thru the mail at the garbage can and instantly throw out all envelopes and junk mail so as not to form clutter...
make sure everyone puts away things when they are done with them instead of collecting around.
another thing a friend of mine does... she has a basket for each member of the house... anything she finds that belongs to tommy... goes in tommys basket... then she leaves the basket in his room. she didnt put his stuff away... he still needs to... but the house is tidy...
How small are your children? If they can walk, they are old enough to do something, even if it's putting dirty laundry in the hamper! Have the children pick up after themselves, there is no reason you should be doing that. What does your husband do? And the other family there? You could make a daily chart, each adult in the home takes turns cleaning up the kitchen before bedtime, take turns doing laundry, vacuuming, etc. A home that belongs to a family should be taken care of by the family!
I'm a single mom for 27 years and not done yet plus I work 40 hours a week on the graveyard shift and we have lots of pets too! There is no reason to have a dirty house, although there is nothing wrong with a little clutter! If you live here, you help here...
i really admire you doing what you do,I'm a single mum of 2 and i find it hard enough keeping the house clean and holding down a job,i try and get the kids to help as much as possible but they are 10 and 4,and sometimes make things worse,
everyone needs to chip in and help with everything. Your husbands family should be doing their own laundry
Well, lets break this down ... its all about delegating love! Why should you do everything. You've got 4 kids who I'm sure can help out - but seriously, its easier to pick/clean up as you go along. Wash dishes before you go to bed - it might seem a real hassle but it won't take long and your mood will be so different when you wake up (seriously). As for the laundry, put a load in when you go to bed (cheaper too) and get the kids to help hanging it up - you aren't superwoman and your family needs to realise this, they do need to start helping you. Why should you spend your only day off doing housework! I hope this helps, I'm no domestic goddess but these few things make such a difference.
Katie, my love, you will end up running yourself into the ground and then there will be no Mum to do anything at all.
You need to take a stock of what is essential and get some help. I wish you lived close - I'd come do the Mumsy bit and give you a hand; my daughter and family have emigrated so I am a granny without a role!
You don't say how old the kids are - can they take on some house jobs on a rota?
What's with your husband's family?
Find someone close at hand who can help you set priorities.
Make a chore list for the kids, they should be doing dishes every night, and cleaning 1 room a day (not including their rooms, they should be done anyway) Tell your husband that he needs to speak to his family and tell them to stop being lazy and start doing their own laundry and help out with the cleaning. Maybe you could ask your husband to help out a little as well. If they don't help, go on strike and let them live in squalor for a couple of weeks, then maybe they will get the message.
There's no easy solution - it sounds like you work very hard. I agree with the other guys, get others to pitch in and help you out too. Make tidying up into a race for your kids, they're always keen to race each other and offer a reward for helping. Like extra TV or a family game. Try to remember that life is for living and the housework will always be there. Enjoy this friday off - go to the park or swimming with the kids, have a family games sessions, snuggle down and watch a film, just enjoy yourself a bit. Don't let it get you down.
If you are the only person doing the housework then maybe a good idea would be a rota so everyone does their fair share. Perhaps your husband could do his families washing and your children could do the washing up as long as they are old enough to help. Even small children can tidy up after themselves though. Get everyone to pitch in and help, try to get into a routine so when its all clean then its only basic cleaning that needs to be done. At the moment I've been using www.flylady.net to get into a routine and its helped me alot. Good Luck :-)
Personally I think your husband and his family should be ashamed in allowing you to do everything (unless there are circumstances you haven't explained). I am a single mum with an 11yo lad, I work 36hrs per week and still hardly find time to keep up with everything! Don't get me wrong, the clothes are always washed and dried etc and the house is generally tidy but there are times when it looks like a bomb site! Haha! The day you have off should be just that... a day off to help you recharge your batteries and have some you time or family time! Good luck... Sorry couldn't give you any tips - apart from to get the family to help as much as possible and explain to them how you're feeling although I'm sure you have been down that avenue :-)
First I would suggest you asked someone for some help just to get on top of all your chores, Failing that take 3 days off work. Once you have completely cleared the back log then try to be disciplined.
When you have a full time job as well as a family ,and extended family, that need your time routine is the only answer. Unfortunately it sounds as if you are always going to be tired. Discipline, always make sure that no matter what there is no washing up left to be done when you go to bed.Clean as you cook, I always make sure my pans and cooking utensils are cleaned before I eat. Leave a bowl of water ready to put the plates and stuff in when finished eating. Encourage your children to wash there own plate and cutlery. Dont leave this dishes draining, dry and put away .
Get 2 loads in the washing machine before you go work, 1 in and out, the second can be left in until you get home again.
Have a laundry bin for colours and another for whites, this saves time sorting.
We have siesta in Spain and I know that sleep is essential in the afternoon heat.
My family are very untidy and no matter how hard I try they wont change, so its a uphill climb all the time.
The important thing is to get on top of it first, that takes time.
How old are your children?If old enough maybe the eldest could start to help out for a little pocket money.
I could go on but this advice could help you in your mission to get sorted.
Good Luck.
i have 4 kids aswell and i make them help out as much as possible i do a load or two of laundry in the morning and again when i get home my girls do the dishes after supper so that there is no dishes in the morning if every one helps the works doesnt pile up and if the children are to young to help with big jobs then hire some help once a week to come in and do things you cant get to during the week or catch up on chores that are pile up
Well I would if I were you institute your family into helping with all the chores such as doing some of their own laundry and cleaning up after themselves, making their own beds as well, you could also assign them their own duties that they should perform on a daily basis, this should help you lessen your workload. Good Luck !
You need to just go and lie down and let someone else get on with the work for a change. You should decide you're going out with friends {not family} twice a week and let the family fend for themselves. My 8 year old washes up {we don't have a dishwasher]. The 13 year old has chores too. Only the baby has no jobs!
All I will say is this.
www.flylady.com
You are doing far far far too much, and I'm a very hard working active mother of 4 too, but working all those hours as well, AND doing your husbands families washing too? I appreciate you may come from a different culture or society than me, but even so, no-one could be expected to cope with all this. However, if you absolutely HAVE to, then my advice is this: If you possibly can, get someone to look after the kids for even just one day, and first of all, have a good nights sleep, then while someone is still with the kids, set to and charge t the housework, start from the top of the house and work your way down, its the mental attitude thats important, just keep saying to yourself, I'm going to DO this, and when you've become the master of it, that is, YOU are in charge, it will be easer, the dread and worry of it will be removed. But you are still doing too much, girl, can't anyone SEE that? You're not a slave.
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