How do you get your teens to take pride in their home?
Question:I have a 14 year old and 12 year old. We just bought a house almost a year ago ( up until then we were liviing w/mother in law) and we cannot stress enough to the kids that when they make a mess or see a mess ( perhaps made by the dog or cat etc) that they shouldn't wait for myself and husband to clean it up. Ie, the trash is full, the living room could be vacuumed, laundry in the dryer, dishes in the sink etc. How can we help them understand that they need to pitch in? I'm not saying that they need to be slaves to us, but just merely put some effort and perhaps a little pride into keeping their home clean and tidy.
Answers:
It's the random ness of " If you see..." that is the problem for teens. They don't "see"! Teens with specific assignments, do best. Perhaps some rules like: Make a snack, but leave no evidence and you can make a snack again. If each teen
were responsible for "policing" a certain area each day, that might help. Could be each of them feels the other should
be the one to do it.
oh how I remember the struggle of those years.congrats on your new home! As for the kids get tough ..no allowance,no extra's if they don't start helping out.tell them what you want done and by when and what will happen if the chore is not completed
First of all, kids won't notice the rug needs vacuuming, that the sink is full, or anything else. They are too focused on their hair and clothes!
You have to give them a list of things to do each day. (not too much; homework and exercise are important too) Don't re-do what they do; don't criticize. Don't show them a better way or how you do it unless they ask. Just thank them. With their own work and as they get older, they will take pride in their home.
Don't clean it up for them. Better yet, when things get dirty because they won't help, invite their friends over.
Try to give them some incentive to help. Have some sort of reward system in place for their contributions. If they fail to help after you've tried that then it's time to start using punishment to modify their behavior. Grounding is an effective way to punish. I'm not above a good old fashioned spanking, either. Use them together for maximum effect. Don't let your kids walk over you. You do them no favors by rewarding their bad behavior. You endorse bad behavior by not punishing it.
I have a 15 year old I can totaly relate. What we did is gave him Chores with an allowance so every week he knew if something on his list didn't get done we would deduct!! You have to Start with an amount equal to the child and chores given so they see that 20 dollars can end up being 5 dollars. Good Luck I hope this works for you!!
First of all you dont give a child a choice..because children will always work against you..its just in there nature...I am 26 years old and I know for sure that if I had it my way I could have cared less how my house looked.now that Im older and have to pay my way I appreciate things more...so you see they dont care because they arent forced to be responsible..thus you teach them by making them a cleaning chart that they have to complete every day after school...that's what my family did...and now that Im older I remember the correct ways to keep a house..such as If I cleand the bathroom.my dad had a chart that said scrub tub...clean toilet..wash floor...and each one would have a check mark next to it.when I was done my dad would look over my work to see if it was good..and if it was I got to go out and play.and I got an allowence of 2 dollars a week.not only are you instilling how to care for a house..you are also teaching them money management...there is nothing wrong with that..and if they want to whine and cry then say..fine you cant go out to play and you dont get 2 dollars and your going to your room..if they dont care..then you make them do the chore...hope that helps..good luck
Glad to know I am not the only one with this problem! I have discovered their game cube is a BIG thing to take away when they shirk!
I make them do regular chores - posted and at least two days a week they have 30 minutes extra contributing time! These are chores that I write up and let them have at em... I do insist that all chores be done correctly, otherwise the dishes would be 1/2 done - the laundry wouldn't be folded, only part of the trash would be taken out!
Good luck!!
if you say the heck with it it and let it go, stop cleaning yourself, when your kids friends come over they will be embarassed at the mess, when they say something to you about it then tell them your only willing to do so much by yourself...etc
I'm 17...and my parents get me to clean stuff by telling me to...SEEMS TO WORK
I moved out of my parents' home two years ago. To be completely honest I did not grasp the concept of taking care of a household until I had my own. When I was a teenager I never thought to do something on my own and my areas were always messy. Now that I have my own home it really really bothers me when there is even a little mess and I take pride in keeping everything scrubbed and kept up. I think sometimes people just have to learn on their own. Not the most helpful answer, sorry, but honest!!
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